Another snow day!

January 27, 2011

"This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

I'm really enjoying all the snow that has come our way here on the east coast this winter! I know many people hate the cold, the shoveling, they feel trapped at home, but for me I think its absolutely beautiful! I feel like a kid again and even find myself hoping school is cancelled for my kids! It's like a treat we get to indulge in only once in awhile!

Perfect? Not by a long shot!

January 24, 2011

I am not a perfect parent. I have never claimed to be nor have I made that promise because I know it is utterly impossible! One thing I did do was promise my boys from the moment they were born I would be the best mommy I could be. I also knew I needed God’s help to guide me and give me the wisdom so I could fulfill that promise! After all, He blessed me with these precious gifts so why wouldn’t I look to Him for the direction and knowledge I needed?
It was just this past week I confessed on two separate occasions how imperfect I am. I have become lenient in disciplining my children. When this realization finally came it smacked me right in the face! I found myself  completely exhausted and frustrated because I was constantly telling my kids over and over and over again “get your pajamas on”, “brush your teeth”, “stop teasing your brother”, “stop”, “stop”, “STOP!” Grrrr!
How did this happen? I somehow let my children gain all the control. I was disappointed for allowing myself to become this parent I said I would never be. I started placing blame, how? And excuses, why? But you know at this point the how or the why didn’t matter to me. I only knew this is NOT where I wanted my family to be and I had to act fast! Instead of feeling like a bad mom because, well, I know better, I tucked my kids into bed and kissed them good night and said tomorrow is a new day! I was ready to take the reins back!
I know God is always with me, but I was also reminded (again) I need to surrender everything to Him and trust Him completely, which I know I haven’t been doing so much these days. See, I wasn’t only lacking in the discipline area I was also getting lazy with our daily devotionals and prayer time. We are God’s children and He is probably just as frustrated with me in not praying and listening to Him as I am with my own kids!
So, with this new day I am committing to spending more time with God and renew my promise to my kids that I will be the best mommy I can be! I am not perfect, but with God’s help I will surely try!

Beautiful sky!

January 19, 2011

I just can't  help myself!

I'm not lonely. Really, I'm not!

I have never been married. I’m a single mom today because it’s my choice. In fact, it has always been just me (maybe at first not by my choice) but, yes - only me throughout both my entire pregnancies until this present time. I’m not looking for a husband either and for those of you who may be wondering – No, I’m not lonely. Some may think it’s because I have my children. True, but I’m not lonely in the way I wish I had a man in my life. I will admit, I sometimes wonder what it is like to have a husband. Let me rephrase that. I sometimes wonder what it is like to not just have a husband, but to be married to someone who is dependent, responsible, godly, loving, shares in the raising of the kids, trustworthy, unselfish, my best friend, faithful, shall I keep going? What is that like? I know marriage isn’t always blissful and I’m not even wondering this in my childhood fairy tale like way. In reality, what is it like to take on life’s challenges and pleasant circumstances together, hand in hand?

I was recently faced with some difficult decisions, definitely not easy ones to make since my emotions kept getting in the way. I would pray about them then find myself all confused. Instead of waiting to hear God’s voice for direction I was trying to figure it all out on my own. I was moody and irritable. Then one Sunday we had a guest speaker at church. I felt like she was talking right at me. She said, “Do not make any decisions based on emotions! Communicate with your Father in Heaven, PRAY before you do anything!” Wow! I already knew these things, but in the midst of my flurry of emotions I, well…just forgot. So I continued to pray and waited and put my trust in God that he would lead me in the way I should go. I felt in my heart God speak to me. He gently reminded me He is the father to the fatherless and He will never leave me nor forsake me. He reassured me that even though I do not have a husband he is my husband. He is all those traits I mentioned earlier! Hallelujah! So, I may not have a husband in the physical sense, but I do have a God who helps me and watches over my family.

So, I look at my single period as my season to grow in the Lord, to develop a deeper personal relationship with my Father in Heaven and to grow as a person. I have discovered who I am and not who I thought I should be. In my past I looked to the flesh to give me the security and safety I so desired and needed. I longed for someone to fulfill me with that “everything is going to be okay” feeling just as my parents did when I was a child. I will never forget the day a close friend of mine said to me, “Dawn, you cannot look to someone to give you that safe feeling. You need to find that within yourself.” Hello! BIG wake up call for me and a life changing moment! I was angry at my friend when she said that to me. Now, I thank her from the bottom of my heart! Thank you my precious friend, you know who you are! I now have that safe secure feeling. I have become a stronger woman, a more confident woman and I give God all the glory for molding me and who continues to mold me according to His will for my life.

He said, "Can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?" declares the Lord. "Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, Israel." Jeremiah 18:6

So, I will continue to wait and hope in the Lord. I will trust that if it is His will in my life then he will complete my circle someday.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Happy Memories

January 17, 2011

Tonight I popped popcorn the "old fashioned" way right on the stove top with melted butter and salt. I told my kids this is how grandma and grandpa made popcorn for me when I was a little girl. They absolutely loved it! My mom passed a little over a year ago and since then I think of things she did for us so I can share and pass them on to my children. Also, the world has changed so much I want to "bring back" some of the "old fashioned" ways into my kids lives. 

So many of my happy childhood memories are filled with my mom because of my mom. Thank you mom & dad for making such wonderful memories and thank you God for birthing me into this family. I have safely tucked these 'specials' in a heart shaped box in my heart and I pray that I will create the same loving memories for my children.

Of course now since I have my own kids I often look back at my childhood. At one time in my life I took those special moments and great things my parents did for us for granted. Why is that? Perhaps because I thought they are my parents and isn't that what they are supposed to do? As I get older my eyes thankfully have opened wider. There are so many children in this world even in America who can't say the same about their childhoods. Its truly very sad. 

My prayer today is for children all over the world would be given happy memories that they can cherish & tuck away in their own hearts for a lifetime.

Snowy Sunrise

I have a passion for taking photos of the sky!

A New Look!

January 15, 2011

I gave my blog a complete overhaul this morning. I sometimes liked my old design and sometimes not. I probably should not have spent the entire morning sitting at the computer since I have a pinched nerve in my neck or something. Anyway, I'm obsessed..what more can I say!

I hope you enjoy the new look. I would love to hear your feedback!

Have a great day!

Today's Encouragement

January 13, 2011

“I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”
Philippians 4:13

As a single mom I know all too well the demands each day brings (too many to even list!) There are some days I feel like just staying in bed, which is definitely out of the question! LOL!

I often struggle with balancing it all. What is balance? Is my balance the same as yours? Probably not, but trying to balance our daily obligations, demands, etc…leaves us all feeling the same way, perhaps somewhat defeated many times.

I’m not writing this post because I feel sorry for myself. I’m only admitting the truth that life is just not easy. It can be downright hard and not only for single mom’s, but for all of us. It is in these times when I have reached full exhaustion Jesus gently reminds me, “Child, you are not alone. I am here with you always.” How reassuring and wonderful to know I am not alone! Glory to God!

“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
Deuteronomy 31:8

“Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.” 1 Chronicles 16:11

The New Year

January 04, 2011

This is the time when many of us reflect on the past year and others just try to forget it all. No matter how we feel about the year gone passed, the new year always or at least eventually gives us a sense of newness, a new beginning, a fresh start. We promise ourselves to eat better, exercise more, get more rest, reach out to far away friends & family members, get out of debt, manage our time better, etc. Yeah, I must admit I have even made several of those promises to myself this year.

One thing I'm doing different this year is making a commitment to build a much deeper relationship with God. I plan on making Him my main focus this year. When I put God first everything else falls into place. I have more joy and more energy. I know then I can be the best mommy, the best colleague, the best sister, the best daughter, the best friend I can be!

Building a stronger relationship with God begins with prayer, reading and studying His word. I feel the Lord has already placed in my heart the message to wait in Him, to be still & listen - not by my own understanding, but according to His time line and His will. To do this I first need to completely trust in Him and put all my hope in Him.

I am very excited and have already started researching scriptures on waiting, trusting, and hoping in the Lord. I am looking forward to seeing how the Lord is going to work in my life this year!
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