It's now just about 10 PM and my kids finally settled down and are on their way to dreamland. Spring seemed like it was never going to get here. Yet today it was finally a beautiful day. As a gentle breeze blows through the windows and the ceiling fans hum softly, it’s actually perfect sleeping weather. Well, one would think, but NOT for my boys! For some reason they were restless and could not sleep. I begged for the sandman to please make them sleepy! As the minutes ticked by I found myself getting more and more irritated. All I wanted was to lay down and relax perhaps read a bit. Now I’m losing my “me” time. The only time I get to unwind from my day before I can’t keep my tired eyes open any longer. Then I begin to feel horrible. The guilt creeps in and I tell myself you are now just being selfish.
Ah! Ugh! How many of us battle with balance in our daily lives? I’m not even talking about getting all the things done that need to during the course of one single day. Lately, I feel the constant tug-o-war with teaching moments with my kids, prayer time, meal planning, grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking, paying bills, laundry, now throw in working my full time job. Oh yeah, did I mention I’m a single parent, so can I, dare I try to fit in any me time?
I often feel I should write about positive things or at least provide some kind of positive twist, a happy ending, and a comforting scripture that gives strength and encouragement. Quite honestly, I'm not feeling any of that right at this moment. And here is even more honesty. What kind of message am I sending if I portray my world to always be perfect? Who am I kidding? I want to encourage other women, not deceive them! Why should I be afraid to tell the truth? So, here it goes. Single parenting is hard! I don't share my parenting duties with anyone. And I'm not complaining, by all means I am actually very happy [perhaps not at this exact moment in time ;-) but generally speaking, I am!]. I’m only being honest here.
Yes, it is very hard wearing many hats and usually more than one at the same time. I know it! And I know the lies and guilt Satan tries to feed us to knock us down and discourage us. I know every day is exhausting. I also know it’s the little smiles and sweet voices, the little dimples and cute expressions that keep me going. What is encouraging for me is knowing that I’m not alone. We are all struggling with trials of many different kinds. But what is even more encouraging is WE ARE NOT ALONE. Our Lord and Savior is here right beside us. He knows what we are facing and He can give us the strength we need to carry on.
“But I will call on God, and the LORD will rescue me.” Psalm 55:16
[Okay, so I guess the post does have a happy ending. Today’s realization: We will always have a happy ending when we sit at His feet and drink from His cup.]
Thank you Jesus!
Have a blessed day!