So, here we are, it is Friday and I am definitely doing the happy dance! Won't you join me?!? Let's dance our way into the weekend and before we do, let's stop on over at Lisa-Jo's for some Five Minute Friday Fun!
Today's word prompt is AFRAID.
I hate conflict, I really do. I would much rather stay in my little bubble where my world is perfect and peaceful, where I can always hear the birds singing, see the flowers blooming, or the snow falling so quietly covering the earth in a soft downy blanket of white. But there are times when the dark clouds roll in and the bubble surrounding my perfect world pops. The world as I want it to be is no longer and I lower my shield allowing the enemy to attack with his fiery darts. This isn't something I want to happen...uh, obviously who does!?! Most of the time it is subtle and before I know it my soul is uneasy and quivering. The dark cloud of fear has moved in and I find myself back to a place where I used to be. I start believing the devil's lies and before I know it that dark cloud hovering starts to paralyze. I don't want to leave my house. I want to keep myself and my boys tucked safely inside.
I know many of the Lord's promises because I try to store them up in my heart. I know He is with me, will never leave me nor forsake me. I know when I cry out to Him, He hears my cries. I know I am not struggling with flesh and blood, but against evil rulers of the unseen world. I know the Lord is my helper so what can man do to me? And I know He does not give me the spirit of fear, but of love and power and a sound mind.
When fear tries to penetrate and consume my soul, it is then that I really grasp and hold onto His truths and promises. Over and over I read them in my Bible, I pray, I listen to encouraging music and worship the One who gives me the strength to stand and be victorious. I allow God to go before me and fight for me and I praise Him for his unfailing love!
Just this passed Sunday, my pastor was speaking about 2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV)
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."and I thought I am so glad I am NOT fearful at the moment. But, as he continued to speak, I began to realize even though I am not afraid in the way I have described above, I am still harboring fear in my heart.
I know I am not alone. I know many of you also have this same fear. I also know there are many of you who wear your hearts on your sleeves. I am not one of those people. I keep a lot inside. I have wrapped up past hurts and shame so tightly and tucked it way down deep within my heart, shut the door and locked it away. I don't ever want to experience that again. By locking it away, I never have to think about it or talk about it and in a warped way of thinking I give myself a false sense of peace. I never allowed healing to come, so instead a big old scab has grown over large areas of my heart.
“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.” John 14:27I don't want to live this way! I don't want to miss out on the Lord's blessings because I am afraid to open up my heart to others, to be too afraid of loving with all I have and in return not being able to feel the love others want to give me!
I am slowly allowing the Lord to pick away at that scab by walking in faith and holding His hand. He is love and His love casts out fear. I have been asking Him to search my heart and heal it and help me love others as He loves me.
Okay, so I definitely have gone longer than five minutes, but this has been on my heart and I am thankful for the word 'afraid' to be Lisa-Jo's prompt today.
I pray for all of you who read this post and who may be harboring fear in your hearts to let the healing process begin. I also pray that you allow God to walk before you and let Him fight your battles. Let us not let our fears control us, but allow the One who is in control to wipe away our fears. With Him we don't need to be afraid.
“Do not fear, for I am with you: Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 NASB